NFL Playoffs:
No surprises the first weekend in the NFL playoffs. The games weren’t close and the four best teams in each conference are the ones left standing. The Colts ran out of Luck. The Redskins ran out of gas and had a “knee” jerk reaction to RG III’s injury, and the one great rookie Quarterback that got the least attention was still playing this past weekend and almost pulled off one of the greatest comebacks in playoff history. Let’s officially name Russell Wilson: RW I.

However, big upset in Denver this past Saturday. That’s what happens when you don’t listen to Herm Edwards and “Play to Win the Game.” With under two minutes to go, and a seven point lead all Denver needed was a first down to win the game. They have Peyton Manning and they ran the ball and chose to give it back to Baltimore? Even Dan Dierdorf, who is 20 years past his prime, questioned that call. Then after an incredibly terrible play by Denver cornerback, Rahim Moore, allowing a 70 yard TD pass with under a minute to go, they get the ball back with 23 seconds left and two time outs only needing a field goal to win and they tell Peyton Manning to take a knee? In Overtime they ran the ball too much as well, playing not to lose. Incredible and a well deserved loss!

ND told his friends that Denver will lose the game after not going for the first down not because of his powers, but because he’s seen it way too often in the history of football. When you play not to lose, you lose. Remember the “Prevent Defense?” It always prevented you from winning. Now we have the “Prevent Offense.” And, maybe those critics who said Peyton shouldn’t go to Denver because he’d have trouble in the cold were right. He looked more like Brett Favre than Peyton Manning on that roll out to the right and lousy pass across his body into the middle of the field that cost them the game. Remember the Giants’ Cory Webster picking off Favre in the 2007 NFC Championship game in a frozen Green Bay to win the game? It was a very similar situation and a bad pass by Favre. ND is certain that Peyton Manning doesn’t want to go down in history being compared to Brett Favre, but, he inevitable will. They both blew big games with interceptions; they both have mediocre playoff records, and they both only won one Superbowl and lost another. They also hold so many passing records and have similar career stats (see below). So, does this mean Peyton will never quit either and be all that ESPN talks about until we actually get sick of him like we all did with Favre? Could be; you never know. Now Eli, he can play in the cold. We all know that. Peyton may just not be able to at his age with his neck.

Peyton Manning vs. Brett Favre Career Stats:
Games: 224(P)/302(B) Comp.%: 65.2/62.0 YDS: 59,487/71,838 TD’s: 436/508 INT’s: 209/336 RAT: 95.7/86.0 Playoffs: 9-11/13-11 Superbowl: 1-1/1-1

So, what does John Elway do now? Bring back Tim Tebow? Why not? Timmy was 1-0 in the playoffs with Denver; Peyton is 0-1. Perhaps Timmy just got the last laugh after enduring so much crap this year. All of this looks like it’s going to set up a classic rematch between the Pats and the Ravens next weekend. That game should be as good as this one. Perhaps Ray Lewis will play his final game in the Superbowl, and Joe Flacco will be this year’s Eli Manning putting in their place all critics who made him answer the question this year that Eli had to answer last year; if he’s an Elite Quarterback. Looks like things are shaping up that way. The playoffs just got interesting and exciting. Very surprising that the NFL allowed the Packers/Niners game to start before the end of the Broncos/Ravens game. Isn’t it all about ratings? Wasn’t the game in San Francisco at 5:30pm local time between a West Coast team and a Midwest team? Are you telling us they couldn’t wait? Are you telling us they started on time because of East Coast viewers; on a Saturday night? TV always controls the games. Very surprising they started that game before the Denver/Ravens game was over. Someone may get fired, and there may be a new Heidi decision here where that won’t ever happen again.

In the second game Colin Kaepernick and the 49ers destroyed the Packers. On Kaepernick’s 55 yard TD run that gave the Niners the lead in the second half, a hole opened up so wide that Moses himself could have crossed through it with all of his followers. However, number 19, Ted Ginn, the small wide receiver of the Niners, was clearly holding the Packers’ defender on the play but no penalty was called. Incredibly, neither Joe Buck nor Troy Aikman even mentioned it; or should we not be surprised by that? Perhaps that’s why no one was within 15 feet of Colin on either side of him..

Saturday’s games made us ask one question; where were the defenses? In the two games, where some supposedly really good defenses were playing, the four teams produced a game average of 74.5 points and 905 yards. Those are not StatisTRIX folks. These are actual numbers. In Denver, where the temperature was only 8 degrees above zero, and a defensive battle was expected, 73 points were scored. Is it time to change the rules again to start giving the defense a chance? Or, is it time for NFL “self proclaimed” defensive geniuses to start figuring out how to defend these “New Age” creatures such as Colin Kaepernick, Russell Wilson, and RG III?

How ironic and fitting would it have been if Green Bay and Seattle met in the NFC Championship game after the fiasco in September with the final “Fail Mary” play, the firing of the Replacement Refs because of it, and the end of the Referee’s lockout? Well, now that is not going to happen. But, how ironic is it that after all the talk about RG III, the other two “New Age” Quarterbacks, Russell Wilson and Colin Kaepernick, are still playing football and RG III is not. But, perhaps that is only because of his reckless abandon for his body. Welcome to the new NFL. Boy, if only Tim Tebow had their speed and could throw an accurate pass! Instead of seeing the Manning brothers play in Supe XLVII in their hometown of New Orleans, we may see the Harbaugh brothers coaching against each other. These guys are pretty good. Who is their father, Vince Lombardi?

Peter King predicted in Sports Illustrated that the Packers would beat the Broncos in Superbowl XLVII next Cycle on DATE: Orion 24, 0001 ND. So much for Peter King; he’s certainly not ND! And, he gets paid for doing this?

Sunday the Falcons rolled to a 20-0 halftime lead, but how about Seattle’s comeback in the second half? They are one explosive team. However, justice was served; Tony Gonzalez finally won his first playoff game after 16 great years in the league and Mike Smith, Matt Ryan and the whole Atlanta organization got the monkey off their backs. And, to make it even sweeter, Pete Carroll lost! However, you have to love Russell Wilson. This kid is better than RG III. The Patriots rolled as expected setting up a rematch of last year’s exciting championship game. This year, however, the Ravens will have even more incentive. Look for another good game. Amazingly 276 points were scored this weekend by the eight teams playing, the highest total ever for a four game NFL weekend. And, every team scored at least 28 points. Usually at this time of the year defense wins, but this weekend defense lost. The Bronco’s couldn’t hold the Ravens when it counted, the Seahawks couldn’t hold the Falcons after taking the lead with 31 seconds left, the Packers couldn’t stop the 49ers at all, and the Texas, who also were supposed to be a good defensive team, can’t even play on the same field with the Pats. So, what will happen next weekend and in the Superbowl? No one knows, but the games will be interesting and the winners will ultimately be the team that can actually stop the other one when it counts.

Pete Carroll is a great coach, but it took him the third time around in the pros to get it right. Perhaps other failed coaches should get more chances. If Bill Belichick didn’t after his failure in Cleveland, would we have ever known how good he could be? Yes, getting Tom Brady helps, as does Russell Wilson, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, and Big Ben, but football is a team game and he seems to finally be a good head coach. They have a great young team. However, shouldn’t coaches like Pete Carroll, who took USC to great heights in the college game and then it all came crashing down to the point where they took away their championships, all their trophies, and wiped the school right off the slate of history, suffer some kind of penalty for doing that and then just leaving his school and team to the wolves? It’s eerily similar to what happens on Wall Street. No accountability. Shouldn’t a coach like Pete have to stay out of the game for at least a couple of years, be fined, and penalized by not being able to coach an NFL team for the many millions of dollars he got simply because he cheated? It’s the American way. Crime does pay, particularly if you are a Wall Street Tycoon, or a college football coach. Sean Payton has to miss a full year, but Pete Carroll doesn’t? THINK ABOUT IT!

As for RG III’s injury and lack of mobility during a game he probably shouldn’t have played in, didn’t the famous Dr. James Andrews tell the Skins that RG III can play three weeks ago and cannot injure himself more? Didn’t he stand on the sidelines last week and tell them they didn’t need to take him out? Now Dr. Andrews and Mike Shanahan say it was a communication problem? What’s the story with the “Good Doctor” anyway? Is he on Dan “Snidely Whiplash” Snyder’s payroll? How is it that Dr. Andrews was exclusively available to the Redskins weeks ago during the game RG III got hurt, and on the sidelines with the team this past Sunday? And, if he’s paid to be on the sidelines why isn’t he doing anything? RG III went into some shed twice during the game, yet the doctor said he didn’t get to examine him. Why is he there then? So much for the credibility of the great Doctor Andrews.

If I were an athlete, I’d be contacting Carlos Beltran to find out the name of his doctor. Beltran was told he had bone on bone in his knee 2 – 3 years ago and may never play again. The Mets got mad at him for not going to their doctor. Instead he went to his own for a second opinion. Whatever that doctor did netted him many millions of dollars and a great season with the Cardinals after playing well for the Giants the season before to get that contract. And, he didn’t miss many games, if any, because of his knee. That’s who RG III should be seeing. James Andrews has this incredible reputation, but I think his stock just went down a lot today.

How did Tim Tebow go from Hero, to Legend, to being a “Disease” all within one year? The answer; The New York Jets! If he can’t play football any more, at least Woody Johnson should give him a job selling Q-Tips where he can turn one into a “Divining Rod.”

With all the talk about whether Peyton Manning or Adrian Peterson should be the MVP and the Comeback Player of the Year, why don’t they finally just give out those awards to a player in each conference (the AFC and the NFC)? Isn’t it about time? The NFC plays the AFC in the Pro Bowl and they select All Stars for both conferences, so why isn’t there an MVP in each conference? Years ago baseball only gave out one Cy Young Award and Sandy Koufax won them, but then they got smart and gave out one to a deserving player in each league. Is this only because the NFL has this high and mighty stance that it’s only one league so there should only be one MVP? If so, then it’s just another hypocritical stance as they play the Superbowl and the Pro Bowl between these conferences. And, once again, why does anyone really care? Both of these great players led their teams to the playoffs, both made incredible comebacks from very serious injuries, but both aren’t playing any more. If you ask either of them, they’d both say that they’d rather be playing in the Superbowl than winning MVP’s. Petyon has all the awards he’ll ever need. What he doesn’t have is as many Superbowl Rings and MVP’s as his little brother. And, that probably eats at him the most!

So what will happen this Sunday on Orion 10, 0001 ND? While ND does not make predictions as you know, except for the classic ones in this issue, look for the Ravens to play with some real heart and desire. After losing last year because of a dropped pass in the end zone and a missed 32 yard field goal with no time left, they will be stoked to play the game of their lives. And, just for added incentive it may be Ray Lewis’ last game, and certainly his last chance to get to the Superbowl again. And, you know that he’s going to bring Jesus with him and do anything he can to fire up the team to win. But, let’s not sell the mighty Pats short. Yes, they lost Gronk again, and yes they haven’t once again taken a tough road to this game like some of the other teams left, but they always find a way. Always, except against Eli and the Giants, who won’t be around for the Superbowl this year. No matter who wins, it should be another great game that will come down to one play made here or there.

In the other game, everything is looking right for Jim Harbaugh and his mighty big decision to go with Colin Kaepernick over a tougher defense and a controlled Alex Smith. But, the Falcons have weapons, the desire, and a new found lease after getting that monkey off their back last week with an incredible win after they had just about blown the game. So, expect them to play a lot looser and have a crazy crowd behind them. ND doesn’t understand all this talk about the Falcons never winning a playoff game, because Michael Vick took them to the Championship game in January 2005, only to lose to the Eagles. They beat the Rams 47-17 the week before as the second seed. Isn’t that a playoff win? Did that not count because he got arrested and was reviled in Atlanta forever? Did they wipe that off the slate in Atlanta? Guess so. And, what about the 1998 Falcons who won their only championship ever and went to Superbowl XXXIII only to lose to the Broncos? Even though the Falcons had a tough time twice this year with Cam Newton and his run and gun style, and almost lost to Russell Wilson last week, they did have those three games against a similar quarterback and style of play. The question is, does any of that matter? Not if they play man to man defense like the Packers did and not shadow Kaepernick. Last week he ran for 181 yards, a new NFL record for a quarterback, but what was most amazing about it was he was completely untouched for 178 of those yards. Now that is totally unheard of for an NFL defense, particularly one like the Packers who were legitimate Superbowl contenders. So, you’d have to expect the Falcons to have learned something from those three games and particularly the end of last week’s game. The game will most likely come down to turnovers.

Two good potential games where hopefully the defenses show up and make some plays. ND likes the Ravens and the Falcons. Why? He doesn’t know, so he chose the two teams that should have the most desire to get over the hump and into the Superbowl. And, he’s hoping and praying that Jim Harbaugh doesn’t get to the Superbowl, and that Michael Oher does. Jim’s nicer brother John, who coaches the Ravens deserves to, but Jim doesn’t because he’s just a flat out nasty guy. And, really, aren’t we all hoping to see Sandra Bullock walk onto the field during the Superbowl to tell Michael he has to “protect the family?” Do you really want to see The Golden Boy, Tom Brady and sweatshirt Bill once again vs. Horrible Harbaugh? Perhaps it might be okay to see big brother John beat little brother Jim in the Superbowl of brothers, but since we’ve never gotten Peyton vs. Eli, something is telling ND those brothers are not going to be meeting in New Orleans unless they go there for Mardi Gras without their teams.

Hall of Shame:
The high and might egotistical voters of the Baseball Hall of Fame made their statement this past week by not voting anyone into the Hall this year. Mike Piazza seems to be guilty by association although there is speculation he did PED’s but no solid proof except for one short reference in a book about Roger Clemens that allegedly says that Piazza admitted it years ago. Who is more hypocritical; the Hall of Fame itself, the players in it, or these egotistical sportswriters who think they matter? They all are, but the Hall of Fame is the most. They keep telling us that Pete Rose will not get into the Hall of Fame and isn’t it in. They tell us that Shoeless Joe Jackson will never get in either; and now we hear about Bonds, Clemens, McGwire, etc. Have you been to the Hall of Fame lately? If not you should go. It’s a really nice place in a beautiful town named Cooperstown, NY on beautiful Otsego Lake. When you go to the Hall of Fame, the majority of your time will be spent roaming the exhibits which are fabulous and bring to life many historically great and significant moments in the history of baseball and America. When you are done with that, you will probably enter the Great Hall where all the inductees are and their plaques. That’s all that’s there, tons of plaques. When they say Pete Rose won’t get in the Hall of Fame, they are incredibly hypocritical because Pete Rose IS in the Hall of Fame. He’s all over the Hall of Fame. His shoes, uniforms, bats, pictures, and most importantly his records are all there for everyone to see.

If the whole purpose of the Hall of Fame is to have a guy make a speech and get a plaque then fine, but if the purpose of banning Pete Rose is to punish him, then do what USC did to Reggie Bush; take away all of his memorabilia and get his records off the lists. The same is true with Shoeless Joe and Bonds, Clemens, Sosa, McGwire, Palmiero, and all these PED users and cheaters that they don’t want in the hall. If they want to make us forget them, don’t show us their records, pictures, and uniforms. Otherwise, give them the stupid plaques already since it really means nothing unless they take down the other crap of theirs that’s in there and reminds us of them. And, don’t tell us about cheating or character. Everyone cheated in some form or fashion forever whether it was spitballs, scuffing the balls, using telescopes to get the signs, using amphetamines, whatever. And, it’s a documented fact that Ty Cobb killed a man and Baseball covered it up. So, who’s bullshitting whom with this crap about the Hall of Fame? Who even cares any more? Why is this important? The players in the Hall of Fame now have this opinion that modern day cheaters were the scum of the earth, but I’ll bet if they look in the mirror or watch the video tape, or even read Jim Bouton’s book, “Ball Four”, they’d be put right in their place. They all are idiots, hypocrites, and cheaters. That’s what sports and baseball in general is all about; gaining some kind of edge to beat your opponent. There are a million ways to do it and it’s been going on since the beginning of sport. Just look at the East German Women’s Swim Team in the Olympics in the 1960’s. Did any of them look like women? THINK ABOUT IT!

Speaking about the Hall of Fame, cheating, and PED’s, baseball announced the other day that they have agreed with the player’s association to step up testing this year to include HGH and establishing personal testosterone ratio levels for every player so they can compare new tests with historical ones and we hopefully won’t have another Ryan Braun situation again. If baseball can get their powerful players association to agree to this, why can’t government do this for Wall Street, Congress, Guns and mental illness, and Medicare Fraud? Do you know how much money we would save and how much we could reduce the debt by if we got rid of Medicare fraud? And, if we monitored all the scum on Wall Street and regulated these insane products designed by Lex Luthor to confuse and abuse the average Joe and the government themselves, including the Chairman of the Fed, how much money could we raise and save investors by cutting down on crime, fining and jailing all the criminals (basically everyone in charge), and saving people’s pensions, IRA’s and 401K’s that they worked all their life to accumulate and would just like a nice retirement? And monitoring Congress? Need we say any more? Let’s find the money for this, so we can have the money for that.

Finally on PED’s, the ESPN Documentary 30 for 30, “You Don’t Know Bo”, was a very good show. Bo Jackson speaks from the heart, and his story shows perhaps the greatest athlete or our time. At the end, Bob Costas says that it’s really good that Bo didn’t play in the steroid age or everyone would be accusing him of using PED’s. “How could he have been so fast and so strong and so Herculean if he wasn’t?” they’d ask today. But, Bo played until 1991. The steroid era started in the mid to late ‘80s when Canseco and McGwire were living proof as the “Bash Brothers. Bo most likely never did PED’s or steroids. Just watching the way he trained and rehabbed to come back from his hip replacement to be the first and only athlete ever to do that, is proof enough, but hey, anything’s possible these days. Who’s on? Who’s off? Who’s in? Who’s out? Who cares? Who’s on First! That’s where Who belongs! And, you can see him right in the Hall of Fame with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello!

Regarding Andy Reid being named Head Coach of the Kansas City Chiefs less than one week after he was fired by the Eagles; all ND can say is three things; 1) Andy should have really considered taking a year off from the game to clear his mind. He should have probably resigned after the death of his son this past summer. 2) Andy must not have one single other hobby or want to spend much time at home with his wife or something, and 3) Taking this job was a really safe choice for him without much risk. The Chiefs have been pathetic for years and won only two games this year. All Andy has to do is double that total (the same number of wins the Eagles had this year) to go 4-12 and he will look like a hero with a team on the rise. He doesn’t have to perform any miracles, and he doesn’t have the Philadelphia Wolf Pack of fans to call for his head. THINK ABOUT IT!

Cirque du Toe-Play:
Craig Nettles, the great defensive third baseman for the Yankees once said, “When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a baseball player and join the circus. With the Yankees I’ve accomplished both.” Funny and true, but Craig Nettles and the Yankees still won championships. The new circus in town; the New York Jets, haven’t. Now that Rex Ryan’s twin brother Rob has been fired by the Cowboys, perhaps Woody “Q-Tip” Johnson will use his own product to get the wax out of his ears and listen to what the fans are saying about the modern day P.T. Barnum, Rex Ryan. Will Rex join his brother on the unemployment line, will Rex and his brother team up with “Cirque du Toe-Play” for a more amazingly daring act, or will they both find new jobs and bring their circus to a city near you? Don’t you think this is even more embarrassing to Joe Willie Namath than the night he was drunk on national TV hitting on Suzy Kolber? It has to be because he hasn’t said a word. Rex and Rob are the apples of the Ryan family that didn’t fall far from the tree; their late father Buddy.

Not So Great Moments in Jets History:

Compare and contrast those moments and this year to the Greatest Moment in Jets History:

Football seems to be the National Pastime now, passing baseball many years ago, but why? ND feels the reasons are many; Stupidity, beer and drinking, Tailgating, an opportunity to get raucous, a reason to ignore the wife, HDTV, Gambling, Fantasy Football, the Madden Video game, and most notably Monday Morning Quarterbacking where you can talk about the game all week with all the millions of amateur experts, and the over 35 professional “so called experts’ on ESPN alone who each make over a million dollars a year telling us nothing. In football you see, everyone talks about the game a hell of a lot more than they play it. There are only 256 football games in the regular season and 11 playoff games, for a total of 267 games. In baseball, there are 2,430 games in the regular season (almost 10 times as many) and 22 – 37 playoff games, usually around 30, for a grand total of 2,460 baseball games a year. They still talk about baseball a lot, particularly during the offseason, but at least they move on to a new game tomorrow which will bring new and interesting chatter to baseball lovers, and many more reasons to call your team “Dem Bums”. THINK ABOUT IT!

As for the playoffs, the game goes fast and then it’s over. You wait all week, two weeks for the Superbowl, building up a lot of anxiety by listening and reading an incredible amount of B.S, just to have it flit away in an instant. And, many of the great games are simply decided by the bounce of the ball or one lucky or really good play. Take the Giants road to the Superbowl last year. One play of 99 yards by Victor Cruz got the Giants into the playoffs. One play by DeSean Jackson the year before kept them out of the playoffs. One lucky bounce off of the 49ers safety, Kyle Williams late in the championship game, took them to the Superbowl, and another single great pass by Eli and a great catch by Mario Manningham on the same play, made Eli a legend and Tom Brady a loser again. That’s football. That’s why they say “Any Given Sunday”. But, in the baseball playoffs and the month of September, every pitch seems to mean something. The action gets so intense and the drama unfolds right before your eyes like “The Phantom of The Opera”, or a Hitchcock Film. And, it doesn’t end when that game is over. You get to do it all over again and again, sometimes seven times in a week and a half. Is it slow? Well, the average baseball play may take a bit less than the average football play, but there are many more of them during a great playoff game to sit on the end of your seat for. And, you can see the drama, intensity, and sweat on each player’s face as his moment is upon him instead of under a tinted helmet. To me, there is nothing like baseball, and the baseball season means spring and summer, days you never forget in your life. The football playoffs mean winter and nothing to do all week except talk, talk, talk. So why are the Gods of Baseball trying to ruin the game by making it more like football? Only Bud “The Idiot Used Car Salesman” Selig knows the answer to that one. THINK ABOUT IT!

Many think football is a fast game, much faster than baseball. But, this is not true. Have you been to a football game lately? Have you taped one on your DVR? If so, you can watch the entire game in less than an hour and then get to your Honeydo list. You can’t do that in baseball where there is no time clock or halftime. As Yogi said, “It ain’t over until it’s over.” Just ask Davey Johnson, Mike Rizzo, Bryce Harper, and the Washington Nationals if that’s the biggest truth in sports. The average football play takes less than six seconds. In between those short plays, the rest is just a bunch of boredom where players stand around in a huddle (most of the time) or for long commercials, or for the referee or booth to review a call or huddle up to make one, or for an injured player to get off the field. At the game, this gives the fans a chance to get more pumped and sip more beer to the point where they get pretty crazy by the second half. At home, the game almost seems to be made for modern HDTV. While the players are standing around, you get to watch super slow motion replays of the six second action, or go to the bathroom and have time to text your friends about the play that happened 45 seconds ago. In fact, the replays take a lot longer than the plays. THINK ABOUT IT!

Bowling for Whatismine:
What purpose do college bowl games serve and just how many of them do we need? The answer is, the only purpose they serve, outside of the national championship game, which is a joke since it’s played six weeks after the season ends, is to showcase the coaches and players who might be going to the NFL. It’s and audition and nothing more. Real Statistics, not StatisTRIX, show that most of these games lose money for their schools. It used to be that on January 1st we watched four college football bowl games. Our lives were organized. We had only three networks and two other local channels that were usually showing Ralph Kramden yelling at Alice and Norton all day, or Rod Serling holding his cigarette while trying to get us to believe there is some zone between daylight and nighttime. We had no choice other than watching the Cotton Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the Rose Bowl, and the Orange Bowl. It was standard procedure for fighting off that New Years Eve hangover. And that’s what the games were called; not some fancy ridiculous sponsored name like the Viagra ED Powerful Erection Sugar Bowl (that should only last four hours or you need to call your doctor!). Even your spouse and kids didn’t have that much of a problem with it. They could watch the nice parades and floats and then catch a bit of the game with their dad and/or husband, or do something more productive like take a nice hike, play a board game, play in the snow, read a nice story, or even just talk. It was a nice relaxing way to start the new year off and get the “toxins” out of our system from the party the night before. But, like everything else in life, the God Almighty Dollar controls our minds and thoughts. But, in this case it doesn’t make a lot of sense since it’s typically a losing proposition.

Finally, the Bowl Madness concluded last Monday night with a yawn. Final Score: Alabama 42 Notre Lame 14. Now many officials are saying Alabama shouldn’t be number one; they are saying they aren’t that good and lost to Texas A&M and Johnny Football. But, isn’t that the reason Johnny Football nabbed the Heisman Trophy? The problem isn’t Alabama. The problem is overrating Notre Dame simply because they sucked for so many years and the NCAA and TV wants everyone to see them play. That is everyone that loves them. Because, like the NY Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys, Rush Limbaugh, and Howard Stern, you either like Notre Dame, or you hate them. Can you imagine if they telecast Notre Dame playing the Dallas Cowboys? Even if it was just a scrimmage the ratings would probably be just a notch below the Superbowl. But, then again, people watch Honey Boo Boo and The Kardashians in droves.

The game was so boring that all anyone talked about after it was Brent Musburger’s comments about how beautiful A.J.McCarron’s girlfriend, Katherine Webb, Miss Alabama 2012, is. She may be pretty, but she’s also smart. She stood up for Brent and took it as a compliment, when everyone else was blowing it out of proportion as usual. Yes, Brent said more than he should have, but lets face it, what else was everything thinking when they kept putting the camera on her, and why were they putting the camera on her so much in the first place? Why do they do that at every televised sporting event and in every stadium in America? Because sports has always been an outlet for men, and when you mix it with booze and the media this is what you get. Brent is 73 years old, way past his prime, and an old school guy thinking he’s somewhat hip. He isn’t, but he’s not a criminal. Perhaps he’s a moron, but he’s not a criminal. They kept putting her on camera because she was more interesting than the game and they wanted to keep some people watching it. So, once again, it’s all about ratings. It’s always about the money!

Years ago, for many years, there was a female that attended every NY Giants home game. She sat in the upper deck in the front row by the railing. She was very large on top to say the least and wore a tight sweater in Giants Blue colors that said in very big letters “GIANTS” right over her chest. You just can’t imagine how popular she was and how many times the camera focused on her. And, why do teams have cheerleaders and the camera is always focusing on them? And, why do teams always try to choose the best looking cheerleaders and have tryouts for it and now TV shows about it? Duh. It used to be that only a TV newspaper critic, like Phil Mushnick of the NY Post, would write about such nonsense after a game, but because of the Internet and Social Media now everyone becomes a critic, but, a critic of what? Any man that wrote about Brent is a total hypocrite or just an angry critic who couldn’t get dates. Give it a rest already. How sick are we already of all the attention every clown that writes a Tweet or a Facebook post or a blog gets on the national news scene? Enough already; get a life. Shut off your phones, put down your iPads, and go out and have a conversation with someone. You may find it enlightening.

If you need to gain perspective on this sort of thing, just watch the silly sports spoof movie, Baseketball. In it, Al Michaels is announcing the game with Bob Costas, and Al can’t keep his eyes off the cheerleaders to the point where he is sweating, panting, and making comments far worse than Brent could even think up. For a stupid movie, it really has some pretty good actors including Earnest Borgnine and Robert Vaughn in addition to Costas, Al Michaels, and Tim McCarver all doing schtick. Does it make it any better that Al Michaels, one of the most respected sports announcers of all time, is doing this in a movie? Does that make it okay but not okay for Brent to say what he did? Hypocrisy, it’s bringing us down. Combine it with the Internet and you’ve got nothing but clowns!

Here’s a Thought: With all the turmoil surrounding derogatory team names and mascots addressed at Native Americans why don’t the Washington Redskins (the NFL team that represents our Nation’s Capital no less) change their name to the Washington Indians? There have been many suggestions and protests about this over the past 44 years when Dartmouth changed its Indian names to “Big Green”, but ND hasn’t heard this one before and to him it makes a lot of sense for a couple of reasons. First, it’s at least a compromise (isn’t that what Obama wants in Washington?). Secondly, they wouldn’t have to change their logo, their uniforms, or much of anything, and it wouldn’t cost that much to do so, not that Dan “Snidely Whiplash” Snyder can’t afford it. Finally, when they play their arch rivals, the Dallas Cowboys, it will be a good ole game of Cowboys vs. Indians. And, when the Indians win because Tony Romo throws yet another late interception to blow the game, the good guys can celebrate at one of their many casinos! BTW, why are Native Americans called Indians anyway? Is it simply because Columbus didn’t have a GPS? THINK ABOUT IT!

Grant Balfour helped the Oakland A’s get to the playoffs last year and beat the mighty Texas Rangers by saving some really big games. But, the biggest save he ever made was saving R.A. Dickey’s life when he was drowning. That save folks, doesn’t show up in the box score.

ND Predictions:

DATE: Apus 25, 0045 ND: Breaking News: Florida totally covered by water. Rabbi Noah Jew builds a giant Ark. All five Florida Marlins fans are saved plus 1,000 Tarpon, Tim Tebow, Minnie and Goofy. Ozzie Guillen’s Grandson is turned away to drown just above what was once known as Little Havana.

DATE: Triangulum 3, 0060 ND: New York Jew, a distant relative of race horse great and 1977 Triple Crown Winner, Seattle Slew, becomes the first horse to win the Triple Crown since Affirmed did it in 1978. His Jockey, Michael Bloomberg, no relation, says that the key to victory in the Belmont Stakes, the grueling final 1 ½ mile test at Belmont Park, was Pastrami. “Yes”, he said, “I held a pastrami sandwich on Rye on a stick about a foot in front of his face and it drove him home to victory,”

DATE: Aquila 8, 0100 ND: Football concussions are a thing of the past. Now that all the players wear full body armor, concussions just don’t happen any more. “It took almost 100 years to finally eradicate the concussion,” said league commissioner Roger Gotohell, “and it took some common sense. We just went back in history, researched sports in the Middle Ages and found out that playing football on horseback with full body armor and using lances to joust the opponent to the ground was in the best interests of the game.” Kicking has become a thing of the past. Field Goals are now attempted with Catapults. “The Catapult fits in nicely with the game of the past,” said Gotohell, “because every Quarterback still wants to catapult his team to victory.”

DATE: Horologium 13, 0245 ND: After many years of negotiation, the WNBA and the NBA have finally merged. Four new teams have formed in Hartford, CT, Knoxville, TN, Palo Alto, CA, and Waco, TX. Each current NBA team has opened five spots on their 15 person roster to add five WNBA players and top women college players to its team. The players cut from those teams will vie for spots on the four new teams. The draft of WNBA players and college stars was held at Madison Square Garden in NYC, where Commissioner Larry Lizard used a lottery system to see who gets the first pick. It went to the Los Angeles Lakers. The Charlotte Bobcats, who haven’t won a game in 25 years, were said to be very upset. New rules were immediately established for the new MNWBA (Men’s N Women’s Basketball Association). The basket will now be 13 feet high eliminating dunking almost entirely, except possibly by the biggest player in the game, 8 ft. 9 in. Agot Lng Leks from Ethiopia. The three point shot line was moved back 3 feet. Any woman making one will be awarded four points. Any woman fouled inside the line by a male while shooting will receive three foul shots instead of the standard two. Two women per team must be on the floor at all times. Teams are setting ticket prices for next season. The Brooklyn Nets, basketball’s most popular team, will charge $1,000,000 per game for court side seats and $100,000 per game for seats at the top with a partial view. Playoff tickets are said to be so expensive that no one is expected to come to the games. However, most people prefer watching the games these days on their 200 ft. MDIEHD3DTV (Multi-Dimensional Interactive Extremely High Definition 3D TV).

DATE: Pegasus 9, 0300 ND: Ted Williams wins the Triple Crown. Yes, Ted Williams, whose body was frozen for 300 Revolutions, comes back to life to bat. 423, hit 60 homers, and drive in 165 runs. When asked how he did it, he refused to talk to reporters causing him once again to lose the MVP. His team’s owner, Walt Disney, who also recently came back to life, sends him and his great, great, great, great, great, great, really great Grandchildren to Disneyland where he meets a distant relative of Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio and says “It’s a Small World”.

Recommended Viewing: Ken Burns Baseball (all 10 innings – make the time); Lombardi, the HBO Documentary; Namath, the HBO Documentary; ESPN’s 30 for 30: “You Don’t Know Bo”, and 30 for 30: “Benji”.

Recommended Reading: Moneyball; The Blindside both by Michael Lewis, Ball Four, Jim Bouton.