Featured Article: From the Beginning

A very long time ago there was a serene place where the sun shone brightly on freshly new blades of grass and glistened off of the water with a sparkle only appreciated by the beautiful creatures inhabiting its plains. Birds flew freely through a magnificently clear sky and bright white puffy clouds protected the heavens above. The wind whispered and hushed over miles of desert and filtered through the night sky like sand in an hourglass. A massive Lion roared and watched his fashionable little friend drink peacefully from a babbling brook. Then suddenly, he pounced, and the world as we know it began!

“Twas once a beautiful place” old Adam said to Eve. “Yes, it was my darling man. Yes, it was. We were so happy all those years ago my little Pooky back In A Gadda Da Vida baby. Do you remember those wonderful days?” asked a puzzled Eve. “Oh, yes my love, yes I do. It was so beautiful, so peaceful, so quiet and so charming. Why, I can even remember all those little Iron Butterflies floating about without a care in the world all around our beautiful tree house. Serenity Now,” Adam replied. “Serenity Now.” “It’s such a shame,” said Eve. “It’s just such a horrible shame”.

And, so it was. What developed from evolution or that great “Spirit in the Sky,” Norman Greenbaum, however you look at it, was coming to an end; a glorious experiment gone wildly wrong. But what exactly did go wrong? “How did we go from such a peaceful ball in the sky, to extinction?” Norman asked his longtime pal Larry David. “You expect me to know?” cried Larry. “Come on,” said their other childhood friend Richard Lewis, “Get over it already. Go see a shrink. Lord knows I’ve been doing it for 40 years. It’s helpful. You can bitch all you want and then hand him a check. It’s very cathartic.”

Yes, folks, that’s how it may end; three Jews bitching about the “Old Country”. But, before it does end, there may still be hope. Eternal hope springs from the goodness of man. The goodness that lies deep in one’s soul. The goodness that is man, Alas, he shall not make himself extinct, for if he does, he shall rue his existence.

“Wake up, Bill. Wake up Al, Wake up White People, this is your captain speaking,” said the tall dark man known as “The Kenyan”. “We’ve got to save the planet.” “Hey, let’s go,” said Robo Al jumping up in a flash from his tombstone bed clutching his cue cards. “Hold on,” said a sleepy Bill as he raised his arms high to the air and yawned so loud his girlfriend, known in these woods as “The Devil with the Blue Dress On”, could hear him next door. “I’ve got a plan. I can get us out of this mess. Just follow me over the Hill and we’ll get our ducks in order”. “Let’s do it,” the three men yelled together as they stormed out the front door on a mission to save the world. “Hold it right there,” said the Big Bad Wolf. “Don’t move another inch or I’ll blow your friggin’ heads off with this AK-47. I’m warning you.” “Wait, wait just a minute,” said The Kenyan. “Let’s work this out. You ever hear of a compromise?” “What’s that?” asked the Big Bad Wolf. “It’s where we actually talks things out and come to a peaceful decision that satisfies all the parties involved. It’s something we’ve been doing on this planet for thousands of years, where have you been?” “Where have I been?” asked the Wolf. “I’ve been living under this rock for the last 50 years. Where the hell do you think I’ve been?”

“Okay, okay,” said Bill, “don’t get your panties in a knot now”. “Knot now?” asked the ever growing confused Lone Wolf. “Yeah,” said Robo Al, “Knot now! Let me show you these slides that I have about how our precious Earth is going to die unless we care for it a lot better. You got a second?” “Hell no,” cried the Wolf. “I don’t have any time at all. I have to get back to my arsenal or all of my weapons may be gone. My wife left me for another woman and I don’t have anyone to man the fort.” “Okay, okay,” said Al, it will only take a second. Have you seen my movie by any chance?” “What movie?” asked the Wolf. “It’s called An Inconvenient Truth” declared proud Al. “No, I didn’t,” said T. Wolf, “how can the truth be inconvenient? The truth is based on facts. I know facts. My good friend Donald Rush Hannity gives me the Fax every day of the week. I know the truth and it’s not inconvenient! Besides, I don’t have no time for some wimpy movie about the weather, I like watching action movies. What kind of action you got in your wimpy movie anyway?” asked Wolfy. “I got a Plan of Action,” said Al. “A Plan of Action that will save us all from extinction. Tell me that doesn’t tickle your feather?” “Wow,” said the Wolf. “a plan of action? Perhaps I can go for that. It’s about time we got some action ‘round here.” And, they all shook hands, saved the world, and lived happily ever after.

Unlike most stories, ours doesn’t end here because after they went out and saved the world, they woke up the next day realizing that they still had to keep the world afloat until the next great disaster happens. So, they called all their buddies and they all met at High Noon in the Great Hall where they decided to tackle the most pressing issues facing us all today; the issues that matter the most and will help us not only today and for the next four years, but for generations to come. After some pats on the back from their buddies and a couple of cups of coffee, they decided to make a list. They called it the “Pick Your Poison” list.

As we roll toward the future and the ultimate demise of man, we still have to wake up each morning, go to work (if we have a job), take care of ourselves and our families, and do our best to get by and pursue happiness in our own little world. But, in order to protect our children and their children and their children, we have an obligation to make this world a better place for them. So, where do we start? The issues are many and deep. When we look at the list, it can be overwhelming. And, each day brings some new crisis that diverts our attention from the long run to the immediate such as the shooting in Newtown, CT (Gun Control), Superstorm Sandy (Global Warming), Fiscal Cliff Hearings (Taxes and the Deficit), etc. Each day, our long term plans and goals are interrupted by the latest disaster or the clock waiting to strike 12:00. Unlike Prince Charming, we are not going to find a glass slipper at the stroke of midnight to solve all our problems, meet the girl of our dreams, and live happily ever after. While disasters are going to happen every day all over the world, we have to maintain the course each and every day on the Yellow Brick Road to the land of OZ. If we don’t, then we are just like chickens without heads, running around in circles without any place to go.

Over the course of the next revolution (a year on your old calendar), we will try to tackle all of the issues on the Pick Your Poison List, but as in life, we’re sure that some new disaster or crisis will divert our attention as well. The list is not in any particular order, because what’s most important to some is not as important to others. But, the list is the list regardless, and all of the issues facing us on the list need to be addressed in a rational and ongoing manner if there is any hope for our future generations. One of the biggest problems facing us is not on the list. It’s the problem of caring. It’s the problem of apathy. It’s the problem of selfishness. It’s the problem of survival. How many of you saw the Academy Award Winning Documentary “Inside Job”, the story of the 2008 Financial Crisis? How many of your saw “Bowling for Columbine”, the Michael Moore Documentary? How many of you saw “An Inconvenient Truth”, the Academy Award Winning Documentary about Global Warming? Based upon our own personal survey, very few of you did. Why? Because most of you were watching some new Blow ‘em Up and Shoot ‘em Up movie, or Xmen, or The Hangover, or whatever you were doing. Well, lets be honest, hopefully most of you reading ND’s thoughts and comments have seen one or more of these movies and that’s why you’re here. Not that there’s anything wrong with being entertained, but you should at least take some time out of your busy lives to watch something real; something important; something that affects you now and something that will affect your children’s children. It should be required that you watch these movies before you VOTE. THINK ABOUT IT!

Back in the 1960’s young adults, college students, and the general population finally got fed up, and because of it they changed the world. At least they tried to. No longer were they just going to accept our government and our leaders telling us that we had to go fight a war that we didn’t believe in. No longer were we going to accept the rules and regulations of a society we didn’t create and was formed almost two hundred years before when life was quite a bit different. No longer were we going to allow injustice and watch people be mistreated, ostracized, and murdered simply because of the color of their skin. Shouldn’t we have realized that after WWII and Hitler? In the fight to improve our society for everyone; in our struggle to understand that “All Men Are Created Equal”, in our battle to gain rights for women, children, minorities, basic freedoms our nation was supposedly built on, we suffered great losses. We watched JFK, Martin, then three months later Bobby, all die in vain. Why? We watched four innocent students at Kent State University die in vain. Why? Because we wanted change! Just as Peter Finch, the main character in the 1976 movie “Network” yelled out the window, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this any more”, we were mad as hell. And, we did something about it. We protested. We listened to songs by Dylan, Jackson Brown, Joan Baez, Crosby Stills & Nash, and others telling us that our lives have meaning, the times are changing, and the end will be near if we don’t change. So, we tried. We cared. We took action. But, unfortunately, it only worked for a while.

Today, many or most of those same people are living the good life wrapped up in their own little world. Their children are in high school and college playing video games partying, and watching silly and blow ’em up movies and “The Housewives of Atlanta”, “Tattoo Nightmares”, or “Honey Boo Boo” on TV. Where is the protest? Where is the anger? Where is the change going to come from if our youth care now more about these things than protesting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Fiscal Cliff hearings, gun violence against their fellow students, outsourcing their potential jobs to China and India, or the hypocrisy that comes out of Washington every single day? Where are those people? How are we ever going to save our children, their children, and their children if we don’t even teach them that they need to be saved? Are we just leading them down the path to extinction? It sure seems like it. So, the number one item on ND’s Pick Your Poison list is Education. Why? Because it’s plain and simple; it all starts with Education! THINK ABOUT IT!

Pick Your Poison: The list of the most pressing issues facing our nation and the world today:

DATE: Pegasus 27, 0011 ND: Snoop Dog runs for President of the United States. His Slogan; “I’m going to put some Pot in every Gun”. He wins in a landslide and brings country together for first time in 12 years.

DATE: Aquila 23, 0064 ND: North Korea drops a Nuclear Bomb on Seoul, South Korea. Over Three Million Female Professional Golfers die. Psy, the South Korean Weapon of Mass Destruction, amazingly survives to see another day and make another music video.

DATE: Horologium 14, 0099 ND: Temperatures have risen so high that the entire population of the United States of America has moved north and the new land once known as Canada is now called “Uppa U.S.”. The land once known as the United States of America is now called “New Mexico”.

DATE: Cetus 2, 0143 ND: An Earthquake of massive proportions (magnitude 9.5) ravages the former city of Los Angeles, now known as New Mexico City. 6,534,215 Landscapers die in this horrific tragedy.

DATE: Triangulum 19, 0231 ND: The Supreme Court of Uppa U. S., made up of six women, an African American man, a Hispanic man, and Ted Nugent, decides historic case giving women the right to tell all men what to do with their bodies. The controversial case brought up by the “certifiably mentally ill” Larry Pratt, and the historic decision voted in 8-1 (the lone Nay, Ted Nugent) calls for a mandate for men to have a “Rectumoptomy” to remove their heads from their rectum as well as any bullets from their rectum, “Even in Cases of Bullets Shot Up Their Ass by Extreme Liberals” which the Supreme Court says is “Not an Act of God”.

Song References: For those of you that are younger and didn’t get the references in the opening story; “In A Gada Da Vida” is a classic song written and performed by Iron Butterfly. The original title was In The Garden of Eden, but they got wasted and came up with this classic. “Spirit in the Sky” was a hit song by Norman Greenbaum. “Devil with the Blue Dress On” was a big hit song by Mitch Rider and the Detroit Wheels. The Blue Dress refers to Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress that famously got stained by Bill Clinton.

From The Beginning: Emerson Lake and Palmer
In A Gadda Da Vida: Iron Butterfly
Spirit in the Sky: Norman Greenbaum
Teach Your Children Well: Crosby, Stills and Nash
The Pretender: Jackson Brown
Devil with the Blue Dress On: Mitch Rider and the Detroit Wheels

Recommended Viewing: “Hitler’s Pawn” the HBO Documentary; “An Inconvenient Truth”, the Academy Award Winning Documentary about Global Warming, “Ethel”, the HBO Documentary about Ethel Kennedy’s life.

Recommended Reading: “Science Illustrated” Jan/Feb 2013