BREAKING NEWS: Dateline: Pegasus 11, 0003ND

A funny thing happened last Spin at the Miss Universe Pageant. Steve Harvey, the host of the pageant, Family Feud, and a well known comedian misread his cue card and incorrectly awarded Miss Universe to Miss Columbia when the actual winner was Miss Philippines. After realizing his mistake, and apologizing to all the countries of the world and well beyond (since after all, this is the Miss Universe contest) Miss Philippines was officially declared the winner to her shock and all Star Wars cast members and movie goers. In fact, R2-D2 chimed in immediately on Social Media saying, “This never would have happened if Trump was still in charge of this event.” And, so it goes. C-3PO summed it up best saying, “Now the world will know what will happen if the Republican Party dumps The Donald. The American people will get the wrong president.” Darth Vader was a bit more dark about the situation. “The Universe will not be safe. The Force will not be with you any more.”

According to CNN Money, the screw-up happened at an important moment of transition for Miss Universe. The pageant was owned by Donald Trump and NBCUniversal until earlier this year. When the business partners split up in the midst of a Trump campaign controversy, the giant talent agency WME/IMG took control of the pageant.

Within seconds, Corey Lewandowsky, Donald Trump’s campaign manager ordered a series of expensive Prime Time TV Commercials called “Star Flaws” and an Internet Blast showing what will happen if the Republican Party kicks The Donald out. “If they kick him out, they will clearly find out exactly why The Miss Universe Contest exploded after they kicked Donald out. Nobody can do anything right without Donald in charge. This is living proof that if you fire Donald, your Universe will explode.”

Mr. Lewandowsky went on to say, “Not only will the Universe and the Republican Party explode, but the wrong candidate will be picked, just like the wrong Miss Universe was. But, that’s just the start. When Mr. Trump runs for president we are now certain that Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper and everyone at CNN will incorrectly declare Hillary Clinton the president of the United States of America way too soon. People will go to bed thinking that Hillary is the new president just like they did with Thomas E. Dewey in 1948. They will then wake up in the morning listening to Steve Harvey apologizing for CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, and every major news network except FOX News, for their mistake, and find out that they finally have a new president that will actually get things done. Minutes later construction on the Mexican Wall will begin. The Donald will be there personally with Jerry Jones to secure the Texan Border. Tickets to this major event will be discounted for all gun owners. Contact the NRA for details. It will be the beginning of a Great New America. And, everyone will be shocked and rocked because they will have thought the opposite the night before. This will prove once and for all that messing with The Donald is like playing with fire. You’ll get burned pretty fast.”

At the time of Steve Harvey’s universal apology, Monica Lewinsky will be seen talking to Elon Musk about a quick ticket to Mars with Bill Clinton. “This really blows,” commented Hillary Clinton, who collapsed from all the excitement.

Production for these massive campaign advertisements has already begun at Trump Tower in New York City. Five Golden employees from Goldman Sachs were seen sneaking in the back service door late last Spin along with Ivanka, her Rabbi, four Muslims, three Mexicans, two Latinos, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.”